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Top 40 Reasons to Support Gun Control, NOT!

March 24th, 2009

1. Banning guns works, which is why New York, DC, and Chicago cops need guns.

2. Washington DC’s low murder rate of 80.6 per 100,000 is due to strict gun control, and Arlington, VA’s high murder rate of 1.6 per 100,000 is due to the lack of gun control.

3. Statistics showing high murder rates justify gun control but statistics showing increasing murder rates after gun control are “just statistics.”

4. The Brady Bill and the Assault Weapons Ban, both of which went into effect in 1994, are responsible for the decrease in violent crime rates, which have been declining since 1991.

5. We must get rid of guns because a deranged lunatic may go on a shooting spree at any time and anyone who would own a gun out of fear of such a lunatic is paranoid.

6. The more helpless you are the safer you are from criminals.

7. An intruder will be incapacitated by tear gas or oven spray, but if shot with a .357 Magnum will get angry and kill you.

8. A woman raped and strangled is morally superior to a woman with a smoking gun and a dead rapist at her feet.

9. When confronted by violent criminals, you should “put up no defense — give them what they want, or run” (Handgun Control Inc. Chairman Pete Shields, Guns Don’t Die - People Do, 1981, p. 125).

10. The New England Journal of Medicine is filled with expert advice about guns; just like Guns and Ammo has some excellent treatises on heart surgery.

11. One should consult an automotive engineer for safer seatbelts, a civil engineer for a better bridge, a surgeon for spinal paralysis, a computer programmer for Y2K problems, and Sarah Brady [or Sheena Duncan, Adele Kirsten, Peter Storey, etc.] for firearms expertise.

12. The 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1791, refers to the National Guard, which was created by an act of Congress in 1903.

13. The National Guard, funded by the federal government, occupying property leased to the federal government, using weapons owned by the federal government, punishing trespassers under federal law, is a state militia.

14. These phrases,” right of the people peaceably to assemble,” “right of the people to be secure in their homes,” “enumeration’s herein of certain rights shall not be construed to disparage others retained by the people,” and “The powers not delegated herein are reserved to the states respectively, and to the people,” all refer to individuals, but “the right of the people to keep and bear arms” refers to the state.

15. We don’t need guns against an oppressive government, because the Constitution has internal safeguards, but we should ban and seize all guns, thereby violating the 2nd, 4th, and 5th amendments to that Constitution.

16. Rifles and handguns aren’t necessary to national defense, which is why the army has millions of them.

17. Private citizens shouldn’t have handguns, because they serve no military purpose, and private citizens shouldn’t have “assault rifles,” because they are military weapons.

18. The ready availability of guns today, with waiting periods, background checks, fingerprinting, government forms, et cetera, is responsible for recent school shootings,compared to the lack of school shootings in the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s, which resulted from the availability of guns at hardware stores, surplus stores, gas stations, variety stores, mail order, et cetera.

19. The NRA’s attempt to run a “don’t touch” campaign about kids handling guns is propaganda, and the anti-gun lobby’s attempt to run a “don’t touch” campaign is responsible social activity.

20. Guns are so complex that special training is necessary to use them properly, and so simple to use that they make murder easy.

21. A handgun, with up to 4 controls, is far too complex for the typical adult to learn to use, as opposed to an automobile that only has 20.

22. Women are just as intelligent and capable as men but a woman with a gun is “an accident waiting to happen” and gun makers’ advertisements aimed at women are “preying on their fears.”

23. Ordinary people in the presence of guns turn into slaughtering butchers but revert to normal when the weapon is removed.

24. Guns cause violence, which is why there are so many mass killings at gun shows.

25. A majority of the population supports gun control, just like a majority of the population supported owning slaves.

26. A self-loading small arm can legitimately be considered to be a “weapon of mass destruction” or an “assault weapon.”

27. Most people can’t be trusted, so we should have laws against guns, which most people will abide by because they can be trusted.

28. The right of online pornographers to exist cannot be questioned because it is constitutionally protected by the Bill of Rights, but the use of handguns for self defense is not really protected by the Bill of Rights.

29. Free speech entitles one to own newspapers, transmitters, computers, and typewriters, but self-defense only justifies bare hands.

30. The ACLU is good because it uncompromisingly defends certain parts of the Constitution, and the NRA is bad, because it defends other parts of the Constitution.

31. Charlton Heston as president of the NRA is a shill who should be ignored, but Michael Douglas as a representative of Handgun Control, Inc. is an ambassador for peace who is entitled to an audience at the UN arms control summit.

32. Police operate with backup within groups, which is why they need larger capacity pistol magazines than do “civilians” who must face criminals alone and therefore need less ammunition.

33. We should ban “Saturday Night Specials” and other inexpensive guns because it’s not fair that poor people have access to guns too.

34. Police officers, who qualify with their duty weapons once or twice a year, have some special Jedi-like mastery over handguns that private citizens can never hope to obtain.

35. Private citizens don’t need a gun for self-protection because the police are there to protect them even though the Supreme Court says the police are not responsible for their protection. And what are all these security companies like livewatch.com doing here anyways if we can just completely rely on the police?

36. Citizens don’t need to carry a gun for personal protection but police chiefs, who are desk-bound administrators who work in a building filled with cops, need a gun.

37. “Assault weapons” have no purpose other than to kill large numbers of people, which is why the police need them but “civilians” do not.

38. When Microsoft pressures its distributors to give Microsoft preferential promotion, that’s bad; but when the Federal government pressures cities to buy guns only from Smith & Wesson, that’s good.

39. Trigger locks do not interfere with the ability to use a gun for defensive purposes, which is why you see police officers with one on their duty weapon.

40. When Handgun Control, Inc., says they want to “keep guns out of the wrong hands,” they don’t mean you. Really.

This list was composed from an article by Michael Z. Williamson.

If you enjoyed this, check my list of the 101 Best Gun Quotes Ever or our post on the assault weapons ban.

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Author: Derek Clark Categories: Gun Rights Tags:
  1. March 25th, 2009 at 03:16 | #1

    I could spend all night arguing with each and every point. However I think this will do the trick. They tried this in England, and it did not work. If you don’t believe me, (and I’m sure you don’t) visit this link http://www.gunsandammoenthusiastblog.com/is-this-obamas-great-plan-for-america/ If it didn’t work there, then why would it work here?

    Frank’s last blog post..The truth behind the Mexican gun and ammo scandal

  2. Peter
    March 25th, 2009 at 07:46 | #2

    Love the list guys keep up the good work.

  3. March 25th, 2009 at 15:12 | #3

    God, I loved this. Keep up the good fight fellas.

  4. Peter
    March 25th, 2009 at 16:04 | #4

    Jim Says:
    March 25th, 2009 at 4:02 pm I’m 50/50 with this gun control thing. There are good people who own guns for the right reasons(hunting,protection). Then there is everyone else abusing

    But how many of those robbers and murders actually leagally own their weapon. That would be a good statistic to know. But I would gather that most crimes are committed by people who do not legally own the gun they are using.

  5. March 25th, 2009 at 16:10 | #5

    I must apologize to everyone. It was very late when I first scanned through this list. Obviously I completely misunderstood it. My sincere apologizes to the writer of this post Derek Clark. I appreciate your humor, and will repost this on my blog in a few days. :-)
    Again I am so sorry.

    Frank’s last blog post..All New guns and ammo lawmakers are layers

  6. March 25th, 2009 at 17:19 | #6

    “Guns don’t kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people” -Larry the Cable Guy

    Justin’s last blog post..Customer Service (or a lack thereof)

  7. March 25th, 2009 at 21:25 | #7

    “Blaming guns for killing people is like blaming pencils for bad spelling” - also Larry the Cable Guy

  8. March 26th, 2009 at 12:53 | #8

    “8. A woman raped and strangled is morally superior to a woman with a smoking gun and a dead rapist at her feet.” You have got to be kidding me. You cannot seriously be suggesting that if a woman is about to be raped that instead of defending herself that she actually submit herself as a victim? THIS statement is morally wrong. And if you’re trying to be funny, it isn’t working. I completely disagree with this appalling statement. It is our responsibility to protect ourselves, our families and our property from intruders. http://tinyurl.com/cysj5p

    Sarah’s last blog post..Children and Guns—Part 1

  9. March 26th, 2009 at 14:29 | #9

    @Sarah - If you didn’t notice, the entire article is making fun of what people say about gun control. It is sarcastic, and points out how ridiculous some of the things people that are pro gun control say. I am certainly for the woman who has a smoking gun and a dead rapist at her feet.

  10. March 27th, 2009 at 10:20 | #10

    @Clarky, yes the more one reads it becomes obvious that it is a mock, sarcastic list, but this was not apparent to me when I first started the list. I didn’t get past #9.

    Sarah’s last blog post..Children and Guns—Part 1

  11. Scrap5000
    April 22nd, 2009 at 11:42 | #11


  12. April 22nd, 2009 at 12:42 | #12

    @Scrap5000 I’m glad you enjoyed it!

  13. Jimi James
    May 18th, 2009 at 22:51 | #13

    haha i was just about to use this for a school report. it only took me 6 facts to leave.

  14. Jimi James
    May 18th, 2009 at 22:52 | #14

    o well i got a kick out of it anyway! thanks!

  15. May 19th, 2009 at 18:06 | #15

    @Jimi - sorry, it’s really tough to find good reasons for gun control. :-)

  16. Derrick
    June 30th, 2009 at 01:33 | #16

    There is another 40 reasons to support guns

    The system doesn’t work for some, so we can see, we want illegal machine guns available, the diy stuff doenst work but we must keep trying, scanning the public for hideout individuals to lay wrath on, full effect sinse y2k. Yes there definitely are individuals monitoring crime activity announcements and waivering it as small time activity, and yes it wont go away. I think in terms of shown crime or trying to train criminals through media control, that definitely doenst work here.

  17. Trisha
    October 27th, 2009 at 12:57 | #17

    Hi, I think that guns should be harder to get because the wrong person could get a gun or because of the way it is now all you have to do is have and license and wait, pretty much! If a guy saw another guy with his present or ex girlfriend all he has to do it register and kill the other guy! I feel that making gun harder to get would be a pretty good, better yet great!

  18. Trisha
    October 27th, 2009 at 13:00 | #18

    @Derek Clark
    Actually there are a few reasons why. A psycho path could get one and go off shooting people for reasons of his own, or people who say I’m gonna kill you really do!

  19. Alf rom Maine
    October 22nd, 2010 at 00:04 | #19

    Well we all know guns kill people. That is why I keep mine locked up because they are always trying to sneak out and go on some killing spree. My kitchen knive are dangerous to. I have cut myself more in the kitchen than I’ve been hurt with a firearm. Of course there has to be gun control, governments have to have unarmed serfs rather than armed citizens. Any doubt of this ask Hitler, Stalin, Mao and Pol Pot to name a few.

  20. October 28th, 2010 at 11:55 | #20

    @Alf rom Maine

    Yeah you gotta be careful with knives too. sometimes they just get up and cut things all by themselves. Just like the guns that go and kill people. oh and pencils totally cause bad spelling.

  21. Alf rom Maine
    October 28th, 2010 at 13:04 | #21

    If someone wants a gun bad enough they will get one. All the laws you can make up will only slow a criminal down not stop them. The only people disarmed by gun control are honest citizens. Yes, someone may threaten your life and get a gun and shoot you, maybe you would rather they grab a knife and cut you into hamburger? If one is armed one can defend themselves. Gun rights, like every other right, come with responsibilities.

  22. ausin
    November 26th, 2010 at 22:57 | #22

    gun controll is great because it prevents self defence!! ;)

  23. ausin
    November 26th, 2010 at 23:00 | #23

    or he could just get a knife and stab the dude. still just as dead but he didnt need a gun. make more gun laws and he can still stab the dude. saved his life huh?@Trisha

  24. Al from Maine
    November 27th, 2010 at 00:00 | #24

    Yes gun control works! Just ask Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot and Mao. Tyrants prefer defenseless thralls. A man with a gun is a citizen, without he is merely a subject.
    Jefferson, Madison and those other gentlemen knew exactly what they were doing.

  25. Daniel
    July 6th, 2011 at 07:35 | #25

    yall are dumb asses everybody should have a gun for protection and for huntin ya dumb fucks!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. Jake
    September 28th, 2011 at 01:26 | #26

    Trisha :
    Hi, I think that guns should be harder to get because the wrong person could get a gun or because of the way it is now all you have to do is have and license and wait, pretty much! If a guy saw another guy with his present or ex girlfriend all he has to do it register and kill the other guy! I feel that making gun harder to get would be a pretty good, better yet great!

    That logic is flawed. It really doesn’t matter how illegal guns are, people will always be able to get them. Look at the world of drug trafficking, for example. In fact, it has been shown that the more ubiquitous guns are, the lower crime rate it is. Anyway, many, many guns are transferred illegally everyday. Please do not be so naive to believe that simply because guns may be harder to get, that it correlates to less crime. Quite the contrary. Also, as someone mentioned, he doesn’t even have to use a gun. He could use a knife if he wanted. This whole “guns can kill people, therefore they’re bad…let’s ban them” ideology is soo friggin’ insane. Plenty of people die each day from automobiles, would you like to make them harder to get? And if you really do believe that less guns=less crime, then you my friend are as naive as they come. Look at Switzerland for example (or at least I think it was Switzerland). They have a mandatory military service and with that comes mandatory gun ownership. And guess what??? Because of that, they have one of the lowest crime rates in the world. Just remember the saying “when guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.” Now does that sound like a place you wanna live in? You don’t have a means to defend yourself, and you’re fucked when you end up with a gun to your forehead. I hope you see why gun ownership results in lower crime though. Just like nukes. It would be bad if only one country had nukes, right? However their very existence in the hands of other countries is what ultimately keeps anyone from trying anything. I respect your right to choose not to own a gun but please do not be one who tries to infringe on my (and the people’s) right to possess them.

  27. An American
    November 16th, 2011 at 19:22 | #27

    I have an idea for you on a good kind of gun control, use two hands!

  28. frank
    December 8th, 2011 at 14:09 | #28

    ok if the rag heads in iraq can make there own fully automatic gun that can shoot with less tools then your most average backyard mechanic dont you think if they did it our people cant so even if guns are gotten rid of what stops the people making them and selling them to who ever wants them including criminals. http://www.davekopel.com/2A/Mags/WillYouBeSafer.htm has a few different facts that proves this

  29. December 15th, 2011 at 07:04 | #29

    guns dont kill people people kill guns
    niga higa

  30. December 15th, 2011 at 07:05 | #30

    red neck@Daniel

  31. December 15th, 2011 at 07:06 | #31

    im hungry@clarky

  32. bob
    February 1st, 2012 at 10:09 | #32

    i want a donut

  33. Jake
    February 5th, 2012 at 23:34 | #33

    liberal dipshit @dog

  34. fresh
    October 24th, 2012 at 14:43 | #34

    This is a very poorly written article.

  35. Rick
    November 10th, 2012 at 12:55 | #35

    And don’t hold it sideways. @An American

  36. Josh
    December 5th, 2012 at 00:22 | #36

    anyone heard of the killing in Aurora? cuz i think the gov should actually keep better control of guns and keep them away from the CRIMINALS.